Memories in a Box
by poxelda
Summary: Mac gets a mysterious package. Lot's of Angst. Warning for tears, one-shot


"So Mr. Schumaker says 'Never give up your dreams, every science in the world has proven it is against the law of physics for a bumblebee to fly, and yet they can. Magic does exist.' Mac, of course, can't let that go so he raises his hand and says 'That's a myth that has been debunked. Professor Dickerson from the University of Washington showed that the aerodynamics of the wings allow them to create a horizontal vortice of updraft.'" All eyes turned to Mac who rolled his eyes and sipped his beer. He smiiled at Bozer.

"You couldn't remember the To Be speech in Hamlet, how did you remember what I said?"

"Dude, watching that pompous ass get a smack down by a sixth grader isn't something you forget."

"Ok, what happened? I imagine a trip to the principal?" Jack said his dark eyes sparkling. Mac sighed.

"No, he didn't want to look dumb in front of the class…"

"He tried to argue with Mac, it was hilarious."

"You out argued your teacher?" Mac squirmed under Riley's frank admiration.

"He was wrong." Mac said defensivly.

"And Mac showed him the error of his ways. They started writing equations and sciency stuff on the board and were still at it two periods later."

"Then Mr. Shumacker threw his eraser across the room and yelled at Mac before giving him a month of detention."

"No way!" Jack said sending Mac a comiserating glance. "Damn the only time I ever had detention was when I got caught smoking under the bleachers with Molly Peterson, and that was only one week."

"I hurt his pride." Mac shrugged.

"I bet detention with him was fun." Riley said sipping her beer.

"Oh no, Mac had to pour salt in the wound. He came in with a rediculous smart science book and read it in front of Shumaker. What was it the Chaos of the Universe or something?" Mac looked down, his face falling into a sadness the others didn't understand.

" _Nature of the Universe as a Fractal_ it was a book about the theoretical math of Chaos." The others stared at him with their mouths agape.

"I have no idea what that means, but it sounds impressive." Riley said shaking her head. Mac cleared his throat vivibly uncomfortable under the others looks. Staring at the fire in the pit Mac's mind drifted a million miles away. His mother had given him that book. Mac felt the familiar harsh lump form somewhere between his throat and heart.

"Mac? You ok?" Mac looked up startled. He hadn't realized the others had been trying to talk to him. He caughed.

"Anyone want another beer?" He asked softly, his voice warbling more than he intended. No one else did. Mac went to the kitchen and pulled out a beer. He leaned on the sink and closed his eyes. Today, his mother wasn't far from his thoughts. Mac felt his eyes tingle and did the math he did every year. Twenty-three, that was how many years it had been since the last time he saw his mother.

 _Angus was scared. He'd talked on the phone to his Mom many times since she went to the hospital. Every time he'd cried. His mother always said she was getting better that everything would be ok. Then came the day when the hospital said he could come see his Mom. He'd worked all week on making her a small jewelry box out of maple with carvings of flowers. His mom loved flowers, especially daffadils. She always said yellow made her feel happy, so Mac had carefully painted bright dafadils on the inside of the box then shellaced the whole thing so it wouldn't get scratched. He wrapped it in a robin's egg blue paper with a yellow ribbon. It had taken him a long time to tie the ribbon, it was like his shoe but with extra ends. He refused to let his Dad help because he wanted it to be only from him. He picked a bouquet of dafadils from his Mom's garden. The entire ride he was excited but kind of afraid too. What if she didn't like it? What if she didn't remember what he looked like? They walked down endless tiled hallways that all looked the same then entered room 221._

 _Angus smiled that was the same number as where Sherlock Holmes lived. Angus liked it when his mom read those stories she would cuddle him close and tickle him if he lost focus. Angus sometimes pretended to so he'd make his mom smile. Those nights ended in massive tickle fights that sometimes ended in a pillow fight. Angus wondered if they allowed tickle or pillow fights in the hospital._

 _Then they entered the room and Angus began to cry. Weren't they going to see Mom? Where's Mom? He asked over and over. The doctors and other grown ups didn't answer him. His daddy cried. There was a skeleton lady in the bed. Her skin was a funny color and she was bald. She weakly turned her hand to him._

" _Angus." She whispered. Angus walked closer and studied her closely. He stopped at her eyes. They were the same blue as his eyes. This was his mommy?_

" _Mommy?" He asked around teers. She smiled at him and held out her hands. He threw himself on her and sobbed. She hugged him close. He could hear her heart, her lungs but they were wrong, a different rhythm and sound. Mommy smelled strange too-she smelled like dirty sheets and scruffy linnen. Angus sat back and ran his hand along his Mom's face. What happened? Can't they fix it? Angus was about to ask when his Dad handed Mommy his box. Mac held his breath. Maybe it'll make Mommy happy again? Maybe she'll be able to come home again and be like she was?_

 _Mommy let daddy open it. She said she was too tired and smiled at me. How could she be that tired? Anyone could open a present! Mommy grinned and ran her fingers along the carvings and looked inside. She laughed and for a second she was his Mommy again._

" _Do you like it?" Angus asked shy. She pulled him close with shaking arms. Angus smiled until he realized she was crying. He looked at her in horror._

" _I made you cry!" Angus said crying himself._

" _No, honey, I'm crying because I'm happy, and I love you so, so much."_

Mac jumped and turned to see Jack's concerned face. Mac wiped at his face which was damp.

"Hey, bud, what's going on?" Mac offered a watery smile and shook his head.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Jack was about to point out the obvious, when the door bell rang. Mac escaped to answer it. Riley and Bozer walked into the living room. Both saw that Mac had been crying but neither gave any sign they'd noticed. Mac talked to someone outside then stepped back into the room carrying a small package. He stared at it with a frown and glanced at Bozer.

"Did you order something?"

"No, who's it from?"

"It doesn't say." Mac carried it gingerly to the table and studied it.

"You think it's a bomb?" Riley asked.

"We have been wracking up a bunch of enemies lately." Jack's voice was sour; Mac's home location could be compramised. Mac pulled out his Swiss army knife and carefully slit along the side of the paper. As he folded the shipping wrapper away, he sucked in air and dropped his knife. The yellow ribbon was tied better but everything else was the same. Mac's heart banged in his ears. Tears flooded his eyes again. The others were talking but they were only a backround buzzing. Mac slowly pulled the ribbon off then unfolded the paper. His eyes closed and the trickle of tears became a small river. He slowly ran his hands along the carvings. He smiled. In his memory they had been perfect enough to be store bought. They were exactly like you would expect a five-year-old to carve.

It opened stiffly. Mac sniffed. He hadn't known about how hinges worked yet, or he'd gotten a little excited during schellacking. Mac saw what was in the box and his heart banged harder. He slammed the box lid closed and pushed past his friends out the door. Mac had not planned where he was going and did not remember the drive, but he found himself standing among the flowers in Amir's Garden. Mac fell to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest hugging them. He rested his forehead on his knees. He smelled the earthy bloom of the purple, blue, and pink flowers. At this time of day, there were never many visitors. Mac pulled a purple petunia and stared at it as he twirled it in his fingers. He remembered working beside his mother in the garden. Unlike most Moms, she went into their phylum and origin, how photosnthesis worked, what the parts of the flower did and how it affected their life cycle. Mac swallowed and swiped his tears.

If his mother hadn't died, what would she look like? What would she think of him being a spy? Mac smiled. She would probably start to build things like Q to keep him safe. She would love his friends. Mac had an image of her and Matty sitting down for coffee. Mac scowled. It would be the parent-teacher conference from hell. And Jack? As if summoned by the thought a familiar set of boots stopped in front of him. Mac looked up as Jack squatted down his face a mask of worry. His Mom and Jack would be the worst jailer's ever worried everytime he got a splinter.

"Hey." Jack said sitting down cross-legged. Mac wiped his face with the heel of his hand.

"Hey." Mac cleared his throat to make it clearer. "What are you doing here?"

"Really?" Mac sighed and ran a hand through his hand.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run like that. I just needed…" Mac absently waved a hand around the curvy trail and the hills it overlooked.

"To run." Jack said with a gentle smile. Mac held out the box. Jack studied it and chuckled. "It looks like a five-year-old made it." Mac turned away a breath sticking with emotion. Jack looked at him, his face serious. "You made it?" Mac nodded and closed his eyes. Jack looked inside and his eyebrows shot up.

He reached in and pulled out a wedding band and engagement ring. Mac leaned his chin on his knees. He took the engagement ring and twirled it through his fingers studying the small diamond. Both were white gold and the gem was set in platinum. Mac smiled remembering the times he'd seen him Mom twist the ring when she was nervous and took them off to don her yellow gloves to wash dishes. He handed it back to Jack who carefully placed it in the box.

"Those your Mom's." Mac nodded and absently began to pick the petunia apart.

"I always figured my Dad kept the rings, but I though he'd thrown the box out."

"Why would he do that?" Mac tossed aside the decimated flower and rose to his knees. A surprise flush of anger trembled through him.

"Why not? He threw everything else away." Mac turned and began to walk fast up the hill. He didn't have to look up to know Jack was at his side, as always. Jack let Mac walk without saying anything until the younger man slowed his pace to normal.

"Why do you think he sent it? Do you think he wants something?" Mac stopped and brushed hair out of his face. He shook his head.

"I have no idea." They kept walking in silence.

"Why now?" Jack asked softly. Mac shot him a questioning look. Jack had as always picked up on Mac's sadness. The man had radar tuned to Mac's head. Mac took a deep breath and told Jack about the box. Somehow at the end of the story Mac was sitting on a bench with Jacks arm around him holding Mac close.

Mac was disappointed to feel more tears flow. Mac rested his elbows on his knees and ducked his head taking steadying breaths.

"That was the last time you saw your Mom?" Mac nodded.

"I never saw her again. I went to her funeral but it was just a box being buried, you know?"

"And I bet no one took the time to explain it all to you?" Jack's voice held a note of frustration and anger. Mac shook his head and smiled a tiny smile.

"I was five years old, they probably figured out I wouldn't understand."

"They really didn't know you very well, did they?" Mac looked at Jack with a heavy sadness.

"The only one who ever understood me was my Mom." Jack nodded and rubbed Mac's back. "I really didn't put it all together for another year. I kept asking why Mom never called or if she was better yet or if we could go to the hospital to see her again. Maybe that's why my dad left." Jack leaned forward and squeezed Mac's shoulder.

"If it is, that makes him the worst dad ever."

"He had to deal with his own grief." Mac said softly.

"Mac, he's the one that pushed you away, you didn't make him go away. If he couldn't handle it he should have gone to therapy or something not out the door." Mac smiled.

"Thanks."

"What? My parents practically lived in a therapist's office. That's where my college money went." Jack retorted. Mac laughed.

"You went to college."

"They got a refund when it didn't work." Both men laughed then sat in comfortable silence.

"He wrapped it exactly like I did, only he did a better job on the ribbon. I hadn't quite gotten tieing shoes down yet." The last Mac said defensivly.

"Seriously, I thought it was all velcro in your generation."

"My parents were traditionalists I guess." They were quiet again.

"I think I know why your dad sent this to you."

"Oh?"

"This was the last time you guys were a family, he wanted to give your mother back to you." Mac stared at Jack and grinned.

"You know for a Cowboy you can be kind of smart sometimes."

"Always." Jack said standing. Mac stood beside him and looked down at the box smiling. He knudged Jack's arm with his.

"Thanks, brother."

"Always."


End file.
